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Tuesday, May 30, 2006
[[Looking back]]


so long never blog le..

hmm...

this is from my other "face"


I miss you. Whenever I talked to you about my problems, you just listen to me. Even though you never do anything, nor advice anything. I feel better after talking to you.. After I finish talking, you would also voice out your own problems. I feel so comfortable sharing each other's problems. Though you never do anything for me, I wanted to do anything in my power for you. I'm always blur. Even in my Branch, I always cock things up. I can't clear the shit in my own family. However, you always made me feel that I knew everything, that I could do anything. Anything and everything I did for you, no matter how small, how silly, I always see you happy, so thankful, so appreciative. I never grew tired out of caring for you even when I never got anything in return. I never asked for anything also. Seeing you smile, you have already done everything.

I regret my bad judgement. Fuck my stupidity. I didn't want to be a bastard, that's why I didn't go to you...and now I live to regret my mistake. I knew what I wanted, but perhaps, I thought too much for people. People who never really thought for me. I have to live with this fatal error. It was so swift.. Back then, the Branch was shorthanded. I was fulfilling my duty as the Int Spec, on top of other matters. However, I never forgot about you. I still cared for you. Yet, even before I knew what was going on, you left. Oblivious to what happened, I told you even, " Don't worry, I will protect you one."

The one thing that gave me meaning just slipped away from me for good.


17'Feb & 28'Feb The Greatest Story
http://freedometeor.blogspot.com/2006_02_01_freedometeor_archive.html

i promise @
12:27 AM.

Friday, May 05, 2006
[[Finally]]


After so long, you seemed to have remembered me..

This blog has been so quiet for so long... Cos We have lost contact for that long... I didn't dared contact you after the blog-lashing incident. Even when I msg u, you never reply.

However, you sounded like your usual self when I msg you last week, saying I wanted to bring you my cake after my party... I just hooped that you could spare some time for me.. No need to sing Bday song or give me present. Just want to spend my Bday with you... Giving u my cake, watching you eat the cake, I'll be happy le. Because, somehow I know that, you will look happy. It's a special day for me. I jsut want to spend it with you. No matter how short, I don't mind. You thought that I was joking... Nope, I asked to rent the Nissan March to drive to you, but it was not available. Then that night, I was a little tipsy.. so it wasnt safe to drive, and by the time everything was over.. it was to late..

I called you on Mon. Asked how were you, and stuff. It's the first phone call we had in a couple of months. You talked in that same happy, cheerful tone of yours, as though nothing had happened. You told about your ah ma and stuff.. I was happy. It's been too long since you told me things in you life. I asked to meet you the next day for dinner and to pass you the cake.. Initially you said no need. I insisted.. I just want to see you again after so long! Finally, you agreed.

Pa let me use his car that night... Didn't know where to dine. I was thinking Fishermen's village or Chijmes.. These 2 places are nice.. I recee the route first, then drove to your place. However, you didn't want to go far.. You suggested J8.. it's ok... I was happy enought that you agreed to see me...

We dined at Cartel. You didn't want to talke photos at the photo shop. Yousaid you wanted to go back early.. I was sad, butyou suggested using my camera...

So, we took some pictures in my car... The night was short and simple. But I was really happy. After so long, it seemed that you finally rmbr me again... I felt so happy.. It's enough for me.. I'm not asking that we be together or what, even though I want to... But I am contented now that I can see you again. Can I care for you again like last time?

You were so pretty that night... I love our pics... But I can't show it to anyone... Same goes to my unfulfilled feelings which can never be revealed...

I wonder when will you forget about me again... Pls don't k? I don't expect anything back from you. Just let me care for you again like last time. Don't forget about me... And I will be contented already...

i promise @
4:00 AM.

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